Menu Board.

For as much time as Pinterest sucks out of my day, it also gives me some really great ideas. My latest implemented project was centered around home management. I made this menu board to help plan our meals and take the guesswork out of what's for dinner:

The board consists of clothespins hot-glued to the frame that hold that day's main dish and side dish. The green pockets labeled "M" and "S" hold the cardstock strips (one for main dishes, one for sides). When I need to make the next week's meal plan, I just pull out the cardstock until I've filled the clothespins.

The front of each strip of paper has the name of the meal, and the back lists the ingredients and the recipe's location. This way, I can use the board to make my grocery list and know exactly where to find the corresponding recipe when it's time to make dinner.

My inspiration was this project from Cassie over at the blog Two In Diapers. Here's what her menu board looks like:

Photo courtesy of Two In Diapers.

She has her cardstock laminated, which I haven't had the chance to get to yet. She also used crayon boxes covered in scrapbook paper to hold her meal items, but I didn't have any of those lying around, and my goal was to do the menu board 100% for free. Instead,  I made pockets out of heavy textured paper. I then slapped on "M" and "S" letters:

The pockets are held open by two pushpins that are also keeping them attached to the board.

While I do have an extra frame on hand, I didn't have a good place to hang it. I did have a bulletin board already hanging in the kitchen/dining area for photos and reminders. I decided to use a piece of ribbon to divide the menu side from the small area that would still be used for photos and reminders. Here's a photo of the entire board:

Since I was going for free, my mom graciously gave me seven of her clothespins to use so I didn't have to buy any. I used a hot glue gun to add small strips of paper with the days of the week onto the clothespins. Finally, I added a piece of cardstock to the top and used my Cricut to cut out the MENU letters in a fun pattern:

The new system is working nicely so far. If I make something new and my husband likes it, I know that I can add it into the rotation, and I don't have to try and remember which of the recipes in my many cookbooks or Pinterest boards are approved.

My next Pinterest home management project will hopefully be a chore chart for the refrigerator!

Fasting.

I have been fasting for the last few weeks with my church leading up to Easter. It was my first time doing any type of long-term fasting, and what I learned and experienced is extremely significant to me. But to explain that, I need to give a bit of a backstory first.

I never struggled with physical health or weight growing up. I was a healthy weight and in a healthy place, and while I loved food, my relationship with it wasn't unhealthy, mostly because my other relationships (with Jesus and my friends and family) were healthy.

After a whirlwind of poor decisions, which were then followed by my wedding at the ripe young age of 20 (which was not one of the poor decisions, but something that happened quickly nonetheless), I began to withdraw from things I once found joy in, suddenly unsure of who I was. I struggled with knowing how to move forward in my relationship with Christ without a youth group and without a church family, things I had always relied on for my own growth. I slowly started to replace my reliance on Jesus and ministry work with a reliance on food. The love for food I had always had now morphed into what was beginning as an addiction...but I didn't know it yet. But I knew I was eating a little unhealthily, so I started dieting and running for strictly vain reasons.

After I had my son when I was 22, I experienced postpartum depression. But I didn't realize that either at the time. I thought that the feelings I had been experiencing were just a normal part of new motherhood. The weight gain was gradual, but it seemed sudden to me. I remember waking up one day and suddenly feeling heavy, with not many clothes that fit me, 70 pounds heavier than I had been when I got married. I decided to see my doctor - a man who had been there throughout the ups and downs of my pregnancy and who I know genuinely cares about me. In addition to everything else he does, he also sees women for weight loss. After a few weeks of appointments, I crumbled. I spilled all of my feelings, struggles and stresses with him, and he diagnosed me with depression after carefully asking questions and then pointing out that I quite obviously fit the textbook definition. He prescribed me antidepressants and gave me some tips regarding things I could do to combat what I was feeling, offering moral support along the way.

The problem? I didn't like how the antidepressants made me feel, and once you wrap that up with the fact that I am seriously irresponsible when it comes to remembering to take anything (be it antibiotics, birth control or whatever) and you have a situation where the prescription was pretty pointless. And so here I've been in this limbo for over a year: Yo-yo dieting. Committing to exercise and giving up. Eating my feelings.

I started to suspect that perhaps my issue with food was more than I thought it was. During a conversation with my husband about our personal fasting experiences, I likened my food addiction to an alcohol addiction: I turn to that place when I'm happy, down, or want to celebrate. I feel like I can't have fun without it. I even took a test on a mental health website designed to help you know if your alcohol habits are a potential problem and if you could benefit from some help - except I replaced every instance of the word "alcohol" with "unhealthy foods." You can guess what my results were.

I'd started the fast unsure of what I was going to be praying about, specifically. I knew I wanted to pray for our church; for our Easter service and the people who were going to be coming through the doors unsure or unaware of who Jesus is. I wanted to pray for strength in my marriage, happiness for my husband in his work, and clarity of our finances. And I was terrified. The foods that I turned to for emotional eating were all on the "Do Not Eat" list and I didn't think I was going to have an easy go at this fasting thing, especially since I was going to be venturing into a territory that was going to be emotionally challenging. I asked God to help me succeed at the fasting experience, and to help give me direction about what else I needed to be praying about on a personal level.

It came together very quickly for me when I realized that the fast was easier than I thought. Not easy by any means, but easier than I had anticipated. All those times I had tried to give up soda, or overeating, or generally unhealthy food...and I had been pathetically unsuccessful. But here I was giving up all of those things all at once and I felt stronger. I felt like it was doable, that taking care of myself was within my grasp. The only difference between all of those other times and now has been Jesus. During the fast, I was giving those things up for the right reasons, relying on Him, praying for help during my times of craving things.

Jesus wants me to be healthy. Not for vain reasons - He wants me to live long enough to do all of the things He has planned for me to do without cutting my time short due to my own stupidity. I believe that He has a lot planned for me, ministry-wise. I know that He wants me to give my all to being a wife and mother to the boys He has blessed me with, instead of being distracted by an addiction. And I hope and pray that He is planning to bless me with more children, and that will require my health.

Relying on my own attempts to get physically and emotionally healthy, I feel like I've failed a million times looking for help in the wrong places. Medication didn't work, so I turned to food to control my emotions instead of turning to Christ during times of happiness, sadness, boredom or celebration.

I'm looking forward to getting healthy for the right reasons. And this time, not on my own.

It seems like such a small and insignificant thing. But God cares about every part of us, even if it seems small. I didn't think that He cared as much about my physical and emotional health as He did about other needs, but I was wrong. This was a painful struggle for me, and He knew it and used my quiet and seeking heart to extend a hand.

This fast has given me a lot of things: a new love for my church, a new excitement for visitors, a greater appreciation for my spouse, and a clear direction for our financial well-being. But more than anything, it's shown me that I can dive in to relying on God for all of the things that I have spent years relying on other things for, and He won't miss a beat when it comes to holding me up.

The Problem With Moms.

I've been a mother for almost three years, so I'm no stranger to the judgmental attitude that comes along with parenting. If you are a regular when it comes to social networking, or if you read any mom blogs, you've probably seen the same comments I have:

- You wouldn't have these problems if you breastfed your baby.
- You can avoid that altogether if you just don't co-sleep.
- See, that's why we vaccinate.
- See, that's why we don't vaccinate.

If you're a mom, there's no winning and no escaping. Another mom will always want to throw her opinion out there for you to consider. Often that other mom will be gracious and friendly about it. But sometimes she won't be.

I recently came across an article written on CafeMom. A few of my friends had posted the link on Facebook, so I ended up reading out of curiosity. The article is called 10 Ways Parenting is Like a Drunken One Night Stand. Personally, I disliked the article, but that's just a matter of opinion. While I like to think that I have a decent sense of humor (that can often be considered dark or inappropriate), I just didn't find this article humorous - and that's nothing against the author, who I'm sure has many other good articles that I just haven't read.

Whenever I read an article that I dislike, I always like to scan the comments to see if other readers feel the same as me. It helps validate my feelings in a way if I see that someone else has posted what I was thinking. In the case of this article, a few people did. The vast majority of these comments were reasonable, in my opinion. There was the occasional "That's why you shouldn't co-sleep" remark, but in general, of the commenters who were saying what I were thinking, they were just stating opinions about the subject matter - something that can be expected whenever you post anything on the internet.

The shocking part came while scanning the comments from the readers who decided that whoever disliked this article had to be punished. A few simple, "I didn't really care for this one and found the subject manner uneasy" comments were met with the following outburst from several commenters (you may need to click to enlarge):

Well, there you have it. Apparently, if you dislike an article of this subject matter, you are: uppity, prudish, uptight, snarling, bitchy, a "Real Housewhore who drives a gas guzzling SUV," pompous, lacking a personality, hypocritical, non-creative, incompetent and a hater.

If simply stating your like/dislike of another mom's experiences in today's world makes you all of those things, what does it make the women who actually resort to that kind of name-calling when they see something that they don't like?

Isn't that really what's happening here? Person A states something. Person B doesn't like what Person A has to say, so Person C decides that it's not okay to state your opinion about someone you don't know...unless that opinion is attacking another opinion and is riddled with insults.

Yes, I realize how ridiculous that sounds. But it looks even more ridiculous than that.

Moms need to stick together. Not everyone is always going to agree with what you have to say, and that's alright. But extend some grace and kindness to other parents, because we're all going through the same things, and everyone's opinion is welcome. It is never okay to call another mom those names, especially when you don't even know her.

Our greatest enemies should never be each other.

Strawberry Lemonade.

This strawberry lemonade is delicious. My favorite part about it is that it's completely natural - no extra added gunk. I read recently that lemon-scented cleaner has more lemon juice than store bought lemonade. That's definitely not true of this lemonade - just ask my arms. They're sore from juicing all the lemons.

Ingredients:
8 cups cold water, divided
2 (16 oz.) containers of strawberries
12 lemons
1 cup sugar (you could use alternative sweetener for less calories, if you'd like)

Directions:
Juice the lemons. Pour the juice into a gallon-size pitcher, or use a rinsed out milk gallon. Slice the strawberries and puree them in a blender with 4 cups of cold water. Add the strawberry liquid to the pitcher. Heat the sugar with 4 cups of water on the stove until the sugar is dissolved. When the sugar water is cooled, add it to the pitcher. Fill the pitcher the rest of the way with water and mix it all together.

You might have to add a little more sugar to taste, but it depends on the natural sweetness of the strawberries you use.

This recipe yields a gallon of lemonade, but it's easily halved or doubled if you want less or more.

Why I Don't Have a Bucket List.

The idea of making a bucket list has appealed to me a couple of times, to be completely honest. I've come across websites that help you organize them, and plenty of people's bucket list pins pop up on my Pinterest page. I often have a moment of, "Oh, alright. I'll start a Bucket List board right now." My mouse hovers over the button on the page, but I don't go through with it.

I usually see bucket list items that I know for sure I want to do someday, so that's not the problem. Own a house. Go to Paris. Go skydiving. Go deep sea diving. Cook my way through an entire cookbook, start to finish.

The problem is that I can't make lists without the full intent of crossing every item off - and if I have an unfinished list, I feel like a ball of stress and failure until I've completed it. That's why I make lists in the first place. They help motivate me to get things done. Except usually my lists pertain to cleaning the house or finishing a bunch of work tasks, not things I must do before my life is over.

The truth is, none of the bucket list items that appeal to me are things that definitely matter. Going skydiving doesn't mean anything if I can't try it with my husband or my best friend. Owning a house will be a lot less enjoyable if I can't fill it with children, whether it's my own children or the children of my siblings and friends. I could cook my way through a cookbook or catch a flight to Paris, but if I'm not reaching the world for good, then why does it really matter?

I already have the things in life that really matter. I have a relationship with Christ, a family that I love, and friends that are always there for me. For the rest of my life, I will never forget how those relationships have shaped me and how they have made me feel.

If I make a list of other things I want to do or accomplish, it's only going to serve as a tool for making me feel inadequate. I'm going to feel pressured to finish it while missing what my life is truly meant for. I want to die knowing that I pointed others toward Christ and realized who and what I loved in my life. Keeping focused on those things can be enough of a challenge on its own, and I don't want to cloud those priorities with others.

If an opportunity to fly to Paris comes up? I'll take it. I hope that my life is full of opportunity and happy memories, but I don't need to make a list to remind me of what's important and what to work toward.

Disclaimer: I'm not bashing anyone who happens to have a Bucket List. Not at all. I just know that I'm a little too Type-A to keep a list like that. Too much pressure. Focusing on these other things is best for me. :)

A Politics Post.

One of the reasons I struggled with starting a blog is that I don't know which topic to stick to. I've got some thoughts, some recipes, some craft ideas - a mix of things, really. I want to write something that people will enjoy reading, but I also want it to be me. Unapologetically. So that's why, in a row, we had a post about how suicide sucks, a muffin recipe, and then some politics. It doesn't necessarily all mesh together, but it's me.

These SOPA/PIPA bills have me feeling a little miffed for two main reasons:

1. My work is done completely and 100% on the internet, and it stands to be majorly affected if these bills pass. Ya'll want me to get paid, right?

2. I love Pinterest. I'll probably have to kiss my pins goodbye, and that will not be okay.

By now, everyone has probably heard about why SOPA is a bad idea. And if not, there is no shortage of articles on the web that lay out all the facts for you, whether you're a really techy person or really confused about the internet in general.

Here are some quick, bullet-pointed facts about why the bill gets me riled up on a personal level.

• I'm not really a fan of censorship.
• I have this personal blog and a handful of other websites in the making. If anyone posts a copyright infringement link on my website or blog, my site could be shut down immediately, and my IP address and domain blocked. Without even giving me a chance to defend myself. I'm technically a small business owner, and I just don't have the money so shell out for an attorney to get through all the red tape if that ever happened to me.
• This bill could be abused and give competitors in the online advertising world a chance to wipe each other out. 
• Giving the government too much control over something is not a good idea. And I don't hate the government, just the abuse of it.
• A lot of my work opportunities could be out the window. There are a lot of websites that are likely to close up shop, just because it's not worth the hassle of waiting around to get in trouble. That means that some of my clients could drop me.
• I could be out of business permanently for using a photo or video that I thought was copyright free, but wasn't. Mistakes happen and this bill doesn't allow for them.

I agree that we need something to help prevent piracy, but this isn't it.

I signed Google's petition and used the Wikipedia zip code look-up form to find the contact forms of the representatives and senators in my state (they also provide you with phone numbers, Facebook pages and Twitter handles). I sent them all the following form email that I found online:

"I am writing to you to let you know that the SOPA and PIPA bills are, in my opinion, against our First Amendment rights as citizens of the United States of America.

The internet is a vehicle of free speech and the wording of these laws, while it does restrict piracy, also opens the gates to censorship.

Shutting down sites on the internet that provide valuable services because of a congressional action should seem morally wrong to you. That being the case, the vast majority of your voters likely believe this to be the case as well, but they don't know how to voice their opinions. This could also cost jobs to many people in the technology sector (my area of expertise actually).

My final point regarding piracy is that maybe the current mechanisms for content delivery are the problem here. Maybe delivering music and movies needs to be made easier to help people get to the content faster and pay the content providers in a streamlined way. Take for example services like Hulu or Spotify - they provide the content makers with funds based on viewership and in turn increase legitimate sales of content. More backing behind these sorts of enablements should decrease piracy and increase legitimate sales.

Please don't vote in favor of either of these two laws as it will make our country more like China, and I frankly love the United States, and dislike the way China handles their censorship policies."

Please consider using some method to make your voice heard about this.

</soapbox> 

Brown Sugar and Cinnamon Muffins.

I was on the schedule to bake something for the coffee and refreshments table at church, and I wanted something that was sweet and delicious without being too much like a dessert.

Enter these muffins I found from The Happy Housewife. They're easy and delicious, and are perfect for breakfast or brunch. I tripled the recipe and it made about 36 muffins.

Ingredients:
1 3/4 cups flour (I used white, but the original recipe calls for whole wheat)
1/3 cup sugar
2 tsp. baking powder
1/4 tsp. salt
1 egg
3/4 cup milk
1/4 cup vegetable oil
Brown sugar
Cinnamon

Directions:
Mix together dry ingredients, then add egg, milk and vegetable oil and mix thoroughly.
Fill muffin cups 1/4 of the way with batter, then add a pinch of brown sugar to each muffin cup. Cover the brown sugar with batter, and then sprinkle the tops with cinnamon and more brown sugar.
Bake for 15 minutes at 350 degrees.

Photo courtesy of The Happy Housewife, because I forgot to take a picture of the muffins before they were devoured.

Music And Memories.

I've always believed that my heart needs music like my lungs need oxygen. I like to think that my need to attach a song to every event/phase in my life, like a soundtrack, is greater than anyone else's. It's that same need that helps me identify with one of my favorite characters on TV, and when someone is saying, "Oh yeah, I really like that song, too," it's the voice in my head saying, "You don't understand. I need that song."

Long ago, I fell into the habit of finding a song I liked and listening to it on repeat. Over and over and over again. My friends are probably divided into two camps: those that love that feature of mine, and those that can't stand it when we're riding in the car together.

I distinctly remember going with a group of girls to an N*SYNC concert in sixth grade. On the way there, the boy band was blasting in the van. While I'd like to be cool and say that I never liked N*SYNC, I can't. I liked them and I was happy to be invited along to the concert. But what I needed to hear was "Shimmer" by Fuel. The album with that song wasn't exactly twelve-year-old friendly, but I had it, and I loved it. I put my Walkman's headphones on and played my song in the van on the way to the concert. Because the day wasn't okay if I couldn't hear it, no matter what else I was doing. I even printed the lyrics to the song on a piece of paper, folded it up, and kept it in my pocket. My friends thought it was weird. I needed the song to be close to me. It became a part of my life like only the best songs can.

Since then, there have been a lot of songs I've needed to play over and over and over again. After I'm done wearing them out, some of them go onto my regular playlist for me to hear frequently, while some get temporarily forgotten about until I joyfully stumble on them later. Two years ago, I got the Alter Bridge CD "Blackbird" for Christmas. After listening to the whole album once, I found a song I needed to hear repeatedly. For a few weeks, every time I was in the car, I played "Watch Over You" on a loop.

During those same few weeks, a friend of mine from high school committed suicide. We weren't close friends any longer, though I had run into him a few times. While I drove around in the days after hearing the news, "Watch Over You" was the only thing that played. The lyrics didn't really fit the situation, it was just what I was playing repeatedly at the time. So as I drove to see friends, to the funeral home, to take care of errands that seemed empty in my shock and grief, it played. And while I got lost in thoughts of the conversations, memories and inside jokes I shared with Alex, it played. When my heart was eventually done with the song, I put the disc back into the case and it got lost and forgotten about in the car.

About a year later, Brian and I were headed to play cards with friends and wanted to listen to something other than the radio. We started digging through the CDs in the car and I found my old Alter Bridge album. I told him that I had really liked it before, so we put it in and stopped to buy refreshments - and then the first bars of "Watch Over You" started playing while I was sitting in the store's parking lot. I instantly felt waves of sadness and pain and couldn't understand why I suddenly felt that way. It had been a good, lazy Sunday, we were about to get some Doritos, and we were going to play euchre. Nothing sad about that.

It took about fifteen seconds for me to recognize the song through my confusion, but I still didn't understand why it made me feel so upset. We went into the grocery store, walked around and started making our purchase before the realization fell on me: in my head and heart, that song was the soundtrack to the death of Alex, even though I hadn't realized it at the time.

Music connects you to people, places, situations and phases in your life, often unintentionally. A song can evoke a feeling in you that you aren't even conscious of - those familiar first notes can bring stronger feelings than you are capable of conjuring up on your own.

Alex and me, 2005. 

"Who will give you strength when you're not strong? / Who'll watch over you when I've gone away? / Snow is on the ground / Winter's come / You long to hear my voice / But I'm long gone" - Alter Bridge, "Watch Over You"