- You wouldn't have these problems if you breastfed your baby.
- You can avoid that altogether if you just don't co-sleep.
- See, that's why we vaccinate.
- See, that's why we don't vaccinate.
If you're a mom, there's no winning and no escaping. Another mom will always want to throw her opinion out there for you to consider. Often that other mom will be gracious and friendly about it. But sometimes she won't be.
I recently came across an article written on CafeMom. A few of my friends had posted the link on Facebook, so I ended up reading out of curiosity. The article is called 10 Ways Parenting is Like a Drunken One Night Stand. Personally, I disliked the article, but that's just a matter of opinion. While I like to think that I have a decent sense of humor (that can often be considered dark or inappropriate), I just didn't find this article humorous - and that's nothing against the author, who I'm sure has many other good articles that I just haven't read.
Whenever I read an article that I dislike, I always like to scan the comments to see if other readers feel the same as me. It helps validate my feelings in a way if I see that someone else has posted what I was thinking. In the case of this article, a few people did. The vast majority of these comments were reasonable, in my opinion. There was the occasional "That's why you shouldn't co-sleep" remark, but in general, of the commenters who were saying what I were thinking, they were just stating opinions about the subject matter - something that can be expected whenever you post anything on the internet.
The shocking part came while scanning the comments from the readers who decided that whoever disliked this article had to be punished. A few simple, "I didn't really care for this one and found the subject manner uneasy" comments were met with the following outburst from several commenters (you may need to click to enlarge):
Well, there you have it. Apparently, if you dislike an article of this subject matter, you are: uppity, prudish, uptight, snarling, bitchy, a "Real Housewhore who drives a gas guzzling SUV," pompous, lacking a personality, hypocritical, non-creative, incompetent and a hater.
If simply stating your like/dislike of another mom's experiences in today's world makes you all of those things, what does it make the women who actually resort to that kind of name-calling when they see something that they don't like?
Isn't that really what's happening here? Person A states something. Person B doesn't like what Person A has to say, so Person C decides that it's not okay to state your opinion about someone you don't know...unless that opinion is attacking another opinion and is riddled with insults.
Yes, I realize how ridiculous that sounds. But it looks even more ridiculous than that.
Moms need to stick together. Not everyone is always going to agree with what you have to say, and that's alright. But extend some grace and kindness to other parents, because we're all going through the same things, and everyone's opinion is welcome. It is never okay to call another mom those names, especially when you don't even know her.
Our greatest enemies should never be each other.
